on a more positive note...

holy crap i love you guys!

i know my last post was really intense to where my mom called me to make sure i was mentally sound.  don't worry mom, i am.  

i was really hesitant to link that last dark post to fb, i totally didn't do it to get, "oh you're totally a good mom" comments but let's be real they sure did help.  i first wrote it because i knew it'd be important to look back on, to see what life was like with little kids.  also, it was a good form of therapy.  yes i could spew out all my feelings to a kind friend but i'd feel like my feelings would be all over the place.  my blog is a perfect place to dump words.  but your comments saying how much you all have been/ are going through the exact same thing made me feel tremendously better.  

of course i know i'm not alone in my struggles of motherhood but when i'm crying locked in the bathroom, it's so easy to feel like the only one in the entire universe going through this.  for me, it's always nice to have the reassurance that i'm not the only mom out there with horrendously messy houses, or that their kids also poop in quite inconvenient places, or that their sick babies are smearing their never ending snot all over their shirt. i teared up with every comment, private message, and text sent my way.  

people who have kids or don't, offered their love, support, kind words, a scripture, a talk, encouragement, dinner, chances to take everton out, cookies, and help with prep for the party made me realize how truly blessed i am for the family and friends that i have.  maybe i deterred some childless friends from having kids but it's like my one friend commented, 

"kids are awesome.  except for when they suck."

after my meltdown yesterday and during charlotte's nap everton fell asleep while i was watching cast away on netflix (i guess watching some dude trying to survive on an island bored him.)  but both kids napping became such a tender mercy for me.

and while i was desperately trying to sneak in a nap cuddled with everton before charlotte woke up, my sweet friend and neighbor, jill, knocked on my door and came right on in when i opened it.  she said, "yo mama's not here so i'm helping you clean!"

i cried into her shoulder then she went right to work.

WHAT AN ANGEL

and while it was awkward at first to have someone cleaning my kitchen, i quickly got over it and slumped behind everton for some much needed shut eye.

i'm so truly grateful for jill and she left me with a sparkling kitchen that instantly made me feel better about life.  

brett came home early from work with a coke for me and a readiness to watch charlotte while i took a nap.  another dear friend offered to take everton out to play for a few hours so that alleviated some stress for me too.  i believe that naps can cure many problems so that nap literally gave me life again.  with everton gone, brett and i took our little charlotte back to the doc's to get her last antibiotic shot.  she pretty much hates our guts for giving her so many shots.  if only she knew that she'll be getting more next week for her first birthday checkup.  speaking of which, i also postponed her birthday party and instantly i became a million times less stressed.

we picked up pizza for dinner and watched friends on netflix (i'm such a huge fan now!)

when it came time to get out of bed this morning, i knew that with everyone's encouragement, i could punch this new day in the face.  everton didn't wake up till 8.30 and charlotte slept in till 9.45 so that definitely helped my sanity out.  thanks kids!

i made myself a nice breakfast, did a little work out, everton pooped where he's supposed to,  charlotte's been napping (going on 5 hours now,) and i talked to my mom and my best friend charlene on the phone.

some chocolate devouring was involved so i'd say it's been an excellent day.  now it's just a matter of getting little charlotte to her usual chipper baby self.

i just wanted to say again, thank you all so much for everything.  i'm so grateful for the friends and family that i have.  i honestly wouldn't make it through the adventure of parenthood without you guys...and brett too of course!