1 month

my child is one month old today.

holy. crap.

i'm learning how bittersweet it is that my baby's growing up.

i love how he's becoming more aware of his surroundings and is becoming more interactive with us and how much bigger he's getting, but yet, i'm so sad that he IS growing up!  i get teary eyed looking at the pictures we took at the hospital when he was born and how little he was.  well, being 8 lbs i guess he wasn't THAT little but still.  we just started using the next size up diapers.  what's next?!  going to college tomorrow?!  before we even got pregnant i used to tell brett at night in bed how sad i am that our kids are gonna grow up so fast and go on missions and get married and how i'm not ready.  and he'd give me this crazy look and would say how we don't even have any kids yet.  i just knew that time will just shoot by.

i can't believe i've been taking care of a baby for a month now.  and i've been trying to cherish every moment with everton, no matter how exhausted i am. i try not to get too frustrated when he seems to be crying nonstop.  yeah i've had a few meltdowns already but thank goodness for brett and my mom.  when brett's at work and i don't wanna bother him i'm so glad i can call my mom anytime and she'll help me to calm down.  and when brett's at home he's just so helpful, as a daddy should be.  i haven't had too bad a meltdown a milkshake couldn't fix as well.

being 1 month old today here's 1 sweet thing that everton did.

lately as i feed him he's been tootin up a storm.  and oftentimes when he toots he poops.

i said to him, (in an obnoxious baby voice) "oh you're stinky huh? SO stinky!  you pooped yeah?"

and he just gave me this HUGE smile.

he knew he stank. 

he could smell SO freakin bad but when he smiles like that, it just melts my heart and he would smell like flowers.  mehhh not really, but my heart sure gets melty.

so we also got started on skype.
it's been SO wonderful getting to talk to my parents all the way out there in west virginia and it gives them a chance to see their grandkid more often.  it also helps me to not be homesick as much.

technology can be quite the blessing.

100th POST-mutant wednesday

so this is my 100th post!

i'm honestly proud of myself for making it this far, never thought i would.

i've been finding that blogging is relaxing and it's been a journal for me and i love that i can put lotsa pics up for my family and friends to see. 

it's helped me to be a better typer as well cuz i really SUCKED before. 

so being a momentous occasion and my child is currently sleeping (he sleeps 3-4 hours at a time but yet those naps seem to fly by fast) i thought i'd take this post to tell you something about my son.

something that not many people know about.

DUN DUN DUN!

when everton was born was getting all that amniotic crap sucked out of his lungs on the table, brett noticed that everton was making a fist with his left hand, holding his thumb inside his fist.  but yet there was ANOTHER thumb sticking out.

YUP everton has 6 fingers on one hand.

you know how much i'm obsessed with x-men, so i guess my body decided to grow my own mutant.

no big deal really.  the pediatrician says it's actually a common thing and can easily be taken care of (as in, chop that thang off!)

his surgery is set for middle of june.  poor baby, i'm not looking forward to hearing him in pain as he recovers, but i'll be here to provide him with lots of milk and cuddles.

but for now, he has 3 thumbs to choose from to suck on, he could beat me at thumb war, and if he likes something, he could give it 3 thumbs up!

and that's his mutant power.

i hope he'll think later in life how hardcore it is that he used to have 6 fingers on one hand.

cuz i think my son is pretty hardcore.

everton is also 3 weeks today!

and don't judge me for writing about my son's slight birth defect.  again this has become a journal for me and i thought this would be something to look back on.

so this is love

a mother's love

so this is love

so this is what makes life divine.

i'm all aglow

and now i know,

the key to all heaven is mine.

my heart has wings

and i can fly.

i'll touch every star in the sky

so this is the miracle that i've been dreaming of.

so this is love.

my treasured jewel...

has pooped and peed on us too many times to count just in his first week of life so far.

has been sleeping pretty good for a newborn, as in, no sleep for us.

while he sleeps he throws us a lot of smiles that begs to be kissed.

has been examined often by family members to figure out who he looks like more, me or brett.

is the 2nd great grandkid for these sweet folks.

is tremendously adored by his daddy.

has these really scary looks, esp while i'm trying to nurse him, which makes it a daunting task.

sometimes tries to avoid the paparazzi (sigh, just like his daddy)

is DEFINITELY my kid.

thank heavens for mothers

as i sit here with a just fed baby wrapped in a soft and fuzzy blanket sleeping and dreaming about perhaps his life with Heavenly Father, i can't help but think, "holy crap, i'm a mom."

this is my first mothers day and right now we have my mom helping us out with our newborn.  she's helped us so much already and is planning on being with us for a few more weeks.  i'm so grateful she is able to be here for me.  i've been relying on her for her mommy experiences.  i've been having a bit of the baby blues and she's there to tell me that i'll be ok.  she's been through the same thing and knows how hard being a new mom can be.  when she first had me she didn't have her mom to help her out.  her mom was still in the philippines at the time but good thing my sweet daddy was there for her.  my mom has always said she wants to be there for us girls when we had our babies.

of course brett's been a huge help too, being my shoulder to cry on when i get weepy because of stress and tiredness or he's the best at waking up everton when it's time to feed.

thanks so much mom for being such a great mommy to me.  and thank you even more for being such a sweet lola to everton, spoiling and cuddling the crap out of him.  and thank you for watching over him while i take obscenely long naps.  you're seriously the best.  i hope to be as good and fun a mom as you were to me.

i will always love and appreciate you for the rest of my life.

and mama caldwell, i love you too!  thanks for raising brett to be the loving and great husband/daddy he's become.  we look forward to seeing you in july!

happy mother's day to all mommies out there.  hope you have a day full of ♥

p.s. check out what brett and everton got me on this great occasion

thanks everton for speakin the truth.  :)

taking the dump of your life-the birth story

"giving birth is like taking the dump of your life"

that's what my cousins terri and katy told me when i was in my teens and i never forgot that comparison.

and i got to experience that exact thing on that fateful day on april 26th-my birthday.

my mom had arrived the night before on the 25th and we didn't really plan anything big for my birthday with my due date approaching so my cousin katy had invited us over for dinner that night.  i woke up to flowers and some birthday doughnuts my hunky husband brought me to satisfy my cravings for em.  we decided to take a risk and make the 30min-ish drive to salt lake city and drop my wedding ring off (which i haven't been able to wear due to fat fingers) to get cleaned and to take my mom to the new massive deseret bookstore.  sounds like an easy and simple plan yeah?

my mom and i were at the jewelry store while brett parked the car.
 as i handed my ring over to the employee i then felt a warm feeling and it wasn't necessarily a warm fuzzy and happy feeling.  i was peeing myself and it was the kind of pee i couldn't stop.  i just had this nervous feeling as they finished up with the paperwork and gave me the receipt.  brett came back and as we made our way out of the store i firmly declared, "i HAVE to go to the bathroom." my mom was like, "oh maybe your water broke."  and i gave her this serious look with big eyes that said, "i believe that is indeed what has happened."
we rushed into the bathroom and sure enough what was dripping down my leg and continuing to gush out were my bags of waters.
happy.birthday.to.me.
brett ran to get the car, leaving my mom and i waiting as my jeans kept getting soaked.  i used my big purse to  attempt to cover myself as people and cars were going by.
you know, while pregnant, i've heard from everyone to NOT freak out when your water breaks.  there's just no reason to.  and honestly watching kourt kardashian keeping her cool and was so relaxed after her water broke inspired me.  so that's what i did.  i was just chill.  i was actually trying to get my mom to not freak out.
brett picked us up and we were on our way back to tooele.  sitting in my amniotic fluid in the car was just extremely uncomfortable as you can imagine.
i just couldn't believe it.  was it really time to pop this child out?  i wasn't gonna be pregnant anymore?
again, i'm still trying to keep my cool.

we arrived and checked into the hospital at around 2.
i was dilated to a 2-3 as i've been for the past 2 weeks.
to get things goin they gave me the smallest dose of pitocin and i sure was feelin those contractions.  they reminded me of painful menstrual cramps that i've forgotten about since i haven't had my period for 9 mos.
hook me up with that epidural!
wow.  i've been freaking out for no reason cuz my body soaked up that epidual beautifully.  thanks again to those who told me there's no reason to be freaking out.  it was perfect, i wasn't paralyzed as i thought i would be.  i could move my legs whenever they told me to yet i couldn't feel those MOFO contractions.
BLISS.

so i laid there in that hospital bed (i guess that's the only thing that sucked) for about 10 hours, growing about a centimeter an hour.  see that giant cupcake?  it was huge in real life, and my sweet cousin katy brought it for my birthday!  def couldn't eat it while in labor but it sure was a celebratory dessert after!

back to the adventure.  i had finally reached the number 10.  it was around 11:30pm.  could i have this child on my birthday?  let's see if i can pop him out in time!
i pushed for about an hour and with the epidural i just felt the pressure but no pain.  and the pressure did feel like i needed to take a huge poop.  i pushed and out came my baby boy at 12.30am.
brett actually helped the doc deliver him.  i LOVE my doctor, seriously sweetest doc ever.  the doc pulled the baby's head forward and had brett pull his torso out.  how AWESOME brett was able to help deliver our son.
he wasn't born EXACTLY on my birthday but who cares?  i'm pretty much gonna be sharing my birthday with him anyways.  that's ok though, i can share.

THE STATS

-name-EVERTON MADDOX CALDWELL

-weight-8lbs 7oz (yeah i pushed that out)

-length-21in

check out all that hair!  i actually didn't have that bad of heartburn.

just gave birth and feelin FINE

first grandbaby for this beautiful lola.

i love my son so much.

i can't wait to watch him grow and develop his personality.

it's seriously still weirding me out every time i look at him.

i can't believe i carried him and felt him moving inside me for 9 months.

i can't believe i pushed a human being out of my own body.

am i ready for a house full of testosterone?

we'll see!