taking the dump of your life-the birth story

"giving birth is like taking the dump of your life"

that's what my cousins terri and katy told me when i was in my teens and i never forgot that comparison.

and i got to experience that exact thing on that fateful day on april 26th-my birthday.

my mom had arrived the night before on the 25th and we didn't really plan anything big for my birthday with my due date approaching so my cousin katy had invited us over for dinner that night.  i woke up to flowers and some birthday doughnuts my hunky husband brought me to satisfy my cravings for em.  we decided to take a risk and make the 30min-ish drive to salt lake city and drop my wedding ring off (which i haven't been able to wear due to fat fingers) to get cleaned and to take my mom to the new massive deseret bookstore.  sounds like an easy and simple plan yeah?

my mom and i were at the jewelry store while brett parked the car.
 as i handed my ring over to the employee i then felt a warm feeling and it wasn't necessarily a warm fuzzy and happy feeling.  i was peeing myself and it was the kind of pee i couldn't stop.  i just had this nervous feeling as they finished up with the paperwork and gave me the receipt.  brett came back and as we made our way out of the store i firmly declared, "i HAVE to go to the bathroom." my mom was like, "oh maybe your water broke."  and i gave her this serious look with big eyes that said, "i believe that is indeed what has happened."
we rushed into the bathroom and sure enough what was dripping down my leg and continuing to gush out were my bags of waters.
happy.birthday.to.me.
brett ran to get the car, leaving my mom and i waiting as my jeans kept getting soaked.  i used my big purse to  attempt to cover myself as people and cars were going by.
you know, while pregnant, i've heard from everyone to NOT freak out when your water breaks.  there's just no reason to.  and honestly watching kourt kardashian keeping her cool and was so relaxed after her water broke inspired me.  so that's what i did.  i was just chill.  i was actually trying to get my mom to not freak out.
brett picked us up and we were on our way back to tooele.  sitting in my amniotic fluid in the car was just extremely uncomfortable as you can imagine.
i just couldn't believe it.  was it really time to pop this child out?  i wasn't gonna be pregnant anymore?
again, i'm still trying to keep my cool.

we arrived and checked into the hospital at around 2.
i was dilated to a 2-3 as i've been for the past 2 weeks.
to get things goin they gave me the smallest dose of pitocin and i sure was feelin those contractions.  they reminded me of painful menstrual cramps that i've forgotten about since i haven't had my period for 9 mos.
hook me up with that epidural!
wow.  i've been freaking out for no reason cuz my body soaked up that epidual beautifully.  thanks again to those who told me there's no reason to be freaking out.  it was perfect, i wasn't paralyzed as i thought i would be.  i could move my legs whenever they told me to yet i couldn't feel those MOFO contractions.
BLISS.

so i laid there in that hospital bed (i guess that's the only thing that sucked) for about 10 hours, growing about a centimeter an hour.  see that giant cupcake?  it was huge in real life, and my sweet cousin katy brought it for my birthday!  def couldn't eat it while in labor but it sure was a celebratory dessert after!

back to the adventure.  i had finally reached the number 10.  it was around 11:30pm.  could i have this child on my birthday?  let's see if i can pop him out in time!
i pushed for about an hour and with the epidural i just felt the pressure but no pain.  and the pressure did feel like i needed to take a huge poop.  i pushed and out came my baby boy at 12.30am.
brett actually helped the doc deliver him.  i LOVE my doctor, seriously sweetest doc ever.  the doc pulled the baby's head forward and had brett pull his torso out.  how AWESOME brett was able to help deliver our son.
he wasn't born EXACTLY on my birthday but who cares?  i'm pretty much gonna be sharing my birthday with him anyways.  that's ok though, i can share.

THE STATS

-name-EVERTON MADDOX CALDWELL

-weight-8lbs 7oz (yeah i pushed that out)

-length-21in

check out all that hair!  i actually didn't have that bad of heartburn.

just gave birth and feelin FINE

first grandbaby for this beautiful lola.

i love my son so much.

i can't wait to watch him grow and develop his personality.

it's seriously still weirding me out every time i look at him.

i can't believe i carried him and felt him moving inside me for 9 months.

i can't believe i pushed a human being out of my own body.

am i ready for a house full of testosterone?

we'll see!