crying over unfinished cookies

it is a well known fact that ever since being married i've grown to be such a crybaby.  i think it's perhaps something unlocked in my heart causing me to go from grinchy to my heart growing 3 times as big.  i like to think it's cuz i've found someone to love and someone loves me back.  like i've said before, i get teary whenever brett does something really sweet for me, a sweet commercial, a horribly sad/horribly happy ending to a movie, or i seriously used to lose it in Sacrament meeting back in our student ward when there would be baby blessings and families from all over come to our ward to witness the daddy blessing his tiny newborn child.  and that's what always gets me, missing my family all the time because they live so far away.

but good gravy, pregnancy has been slapping me with the hormones!

with this pregnancy you take all the stuff i just listed above plus add a couple dumb extra.

like, food.

i never really thought that i've had cravings, just because something would just happen to sound good and if i couldn't get it, no big deal.

  

 but lately i've been noticing when i've been REALLY wanting a certain food and it doesn't go the way i want it to.  i get sad or angry or really disappointed or devastated.

i get severly annoyed when a restaurant messes up my order, i mean yeah it annoyed me before but now, you do not mess with this pregnant women's food, i will straight up kill you.  well not really, but i'll kill you with my eyes!

also last night it really hit me.  chocolate chip cookies sounded so so good so i looked at a recipe and i assumed i had all the ingredients, it doesn't take foreign stuff to make em and i have a whole shelf full of just baking ingredients.

i mixed the butter and shortening, i added the brown sugar, sugar, and oh, i need to add baking soda.  (goes to the baking shelf)  what.the.freak?  i don't have baking soda??  did i throw the baking soda away back in rexburg?  and why do i have 2 things of baking powder?  are they pretty much the same thang?  i don't wanna risk ruining my beautiful cookies.

so i threw down the mixer, left everything on the counter and plopped myself on our living room floor.  (we don't have a couch yet but will soon)  i felt so dumb and angry not having baking soda to make my cookies.  and when brett came down the stairs i started to cry, like a little girl who couldn't get the toy she wanted from the store.

instead of interrogating me as to why i'm crying,  he simply asked what was going on and i told him i felt really stupid and that i didn't have a measly 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda.

i felt so ridiculous but i was devastated i couldn't make my cookies.  i sound like such a fatty and i felt even fattier when my protruding stomach was catching my tears and now there was a huge wet mark on my shirt.

brett being the sweet husband he is, he left in his shorts to get me some baking soda.

i told him that it was staring to get late and i just exhausted myself from weeping and wailing so i didn't wanna make em anymore.  but he wanted to get it for me anyways so i could make em tomorrow.

and here we are.

  

i woke up, had cereal, then immediately started on my cookies.
i added the rest of the magical ingredients plus the darned baking soda.

no fears and no tears.

after a few mins in the oven and a few minutes to cool

all was right with the world...

...unless of course i forget some dumb ingredient in some recipe in the future...
and you do NOT wanna see this woman angry.

special thanks to brett for being so patient with me during my emotional roller coasters.  he does admit that sometimes i do seem a bit nuts being ok one second and a bawling mess the next.

but i tell him, it's ok, i'm pregnant, he can deal.